so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
