i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize