i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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