Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize