sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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