woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
