ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
