just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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