Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
