how can u be prego again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
