Have you finally orgasmed yet?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
