office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he thought i was a dude.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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