You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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