he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
