This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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