I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize