So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
