Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
