Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
