brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
