and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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