He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it because I queefed?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
