I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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