bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
