I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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