Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
