I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
