is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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