I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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