I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
