Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
