I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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