i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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