Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize