Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think my vagina is haunted
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
In America we eat man semen.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
