Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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