so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
