just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
