Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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