My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
