brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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