if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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