Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
