You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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