Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
