is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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