I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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