therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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