it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
