Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can I color on your dick again?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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