Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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