So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
