Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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