I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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