Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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