Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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