it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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