I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
