I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she told me i tasted like america
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well I just put wine in my tea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize