with your own penis?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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