so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
