I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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