i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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