OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
