Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
