If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
