Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
