There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
