I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Randomize
