would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
